That Night
by r77skywalker
Summary: Hermione POV. Hermione has an encounter with Lord Voldemort while Ron thinks she is somewhere else. Hermione now has to hide from Ron.
1. Chapter 1

I am twenty years old. It has been three years since the worst night in my life that happened during my 7th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I graduated, and now hold a boring job with Muggles advocating that insane witches and wizards should have a place in the Muggle world. True, this was not the Auror job I had coveted for years but it was the only answer I could come up with during 7th year. I was living in a world that I was scared of. I had nightmares every night that had me screaming myself awake, but I felt I deserved them. I internalized everything and felt as though it would just be easier and less painful if old age then death came tomorrow. Every day I think about what happened three years ago…

***Everything was going as planned. Ron _finally_ asked me out at the beginning of the year and I couldn't believe how romantic he became and how much he truly cared for me. We still fought like cats and dogs but in a way it made our relationship stronger. He kept trying to get me alone in a classroom for things to go further but the idea of potentially ruining any school materials was not going to happen. Harry was constantly worrying about Voldemort as usual and we had our hands full keeping up on research about him and his accomplices were hiding. He didn't have a girlfriend, but I suspected something was happening between him and Ginny, but neither of them would admit anything. Regardless of the danger with Voldemort, I still felt safe within the castle walls and with Ron, I felt nothing could harm me. It took me awhile to get used to the fact that I could hold Ron's hand and could show _light_ public displays of affection. I was thrilled when he asked me on a date to go to Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day. It started off wonderfully and ended horribly. This is the day that changed my life in every way, shape, and form.

We were in Hogsmeade walking around and suddenly I saw his eyes grow wide and he said, "Hermione, I forgot your Valentine's Day Gift! I will be 5 minutes, wait right here." Before I could yell that I didn't want him to buy me anything or I'll go with you, he was off and running. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with him so I decided to sit and wait. I looked around and noticed that we were by the Shrieking Shack. The place still gave me the shivers ever since third year and I had no desire to go in it ever again. I was waiting for about fifteen minutes and betting if Ron got lost when I heard his voice.

"Hermione! Come in here!" I looked around but couldn't see him anywhere. "No, no! In here!" I found the direction of his voice and I paused. It was coming from the Shrieking Shack.

"Ron? Are you in the Shrieking Shack? Get out of there, it gives me the creeps!"

"Aw, come on Hermione! I made us a nice little picnic."

I smiled. He could be so sweet sometimes. A little misguided about the place but I couldn't say no on his effort with a picnic. I laughed to myself thinking of his _clever_ way to get me alone and as usual I would play along. As I made my way into the Shrieking Shack a cold chill came over me. "Ron? Where are you?"

"Up the stairs, keep coming."

His voice sounded different in the Shack but I attributed it to the way the house sounded in general. I followed the stairs up, trying to avoid the holes as best as I could. This place was bad, not romantic at all, and I was about to tell him when I got to the top of the stairs but I couldn't say a word. When I looked up expected to see Ron's goofy grin and a picnic spread, all I saw was evil. Lord Voldemort's face stood smiling at me with his wand at the ready. I opened my mouth to scream when he was suddenly behind me and covered my mouth. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "If you scream, your boyfriend will come running. If he comes running, that means I have to kill him. If you don't scream, I will let him live."

My eyes immediately filled up with tears. I had no idea what to do. I thought about every option. If I screamed, Ron would come running so might other people but I couldn't handle Ron dying. If I go with him, I could try and negotiate my way out of this, unlikely but I would rather die than kill Ron. With all of the scenarios going through my head, I nodded that I understood and he let me go. He walked to the center of the room where there was an old piece of bed frame and muttered something I couldn't understand. He grabbed me and made me touch the furniture and suddenly we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and I felt as if I was being pulled into a long tube. _The beframe was a portkey_.

When we landed I looked around. We were in what I could only describe as a dungeon. The walls were wet with moisture, it smelled of mold, and the place was dark having no natural light come in. "Where did you take me?"

"It doesn't matter mudblood. You will listen to what I have to say, do whatever I tell you to, and the return to that school." His voice was harsh and scratchy. He was trying not to control his emotions with some difficulty.

"You're not going to kill Ron or Harry?" I was terrified for my own life but the idea of Ron or Harry being harmed was beyond comprehension.

He stared at me for a brief second. "Oh I will kill you all eventually, but not today. You, mudblood, have become quite valuable to me and I thank you for that."

My face must have given off disbelief for he continued, "There's a reason why I won't kill you today. What are you to me do you think?"

He was toying with me and I knew it but I had this halfhearted belief that if I played along, answered all his questions correctly he would see the error of his ways, let me go, and all would be right with the world. But as I looked into his eyes, I saw nothing. No emotion, no love, no soul.

"HOW DARE YOU LOOK INTO MY EYES!" And with that I felt the power of a Cruciatus Curse. It was more pain that I ever thought I would be able to handle. My body writhed and inside I was screaming for someone to kill me. Please do anything to make this pain stop! The suddenly, it did. My body was on fire, everything ache, and I longed to give him any information I could think of for him to not do that again.

"Please let me go! I'll do anything!"

"Oh I know you'll do anything." He sneered. "I can make you do anything. But I'm still not letting you go… yet. You still haven't

answered me mudblood. Why are you important to me?"

I didn't answer, I couldn't. My mind was still in shock from the pain of the curse. I wanted to curl up in a ball but before I had another thought I heard, "ANSWER ME!" and with that brought the Cruciatus Curse again. The pain that I felt blocked out all answers that I could think of. I had this moment of clarity and humor when I kept thinking _you know he should really figure out that people would do so much better on his answers without this pain._ But then searing pain doubled and I couldn't process a though. After what seemed like an eternity, the pain suddenly stopped. The pleasure of no-pain was extraordinary.

"Well Mudblood?"

"I am closest to Harry." My mind was reeling on any information that I needed to keep hidden from him. I was preparing myself for the worst while trying to keep mentally strong so I didn't give anything away that may help him.

"Wrong! Stupid mudblood. You are _second_ close to Potter. I have been studying him for some time now. I thought Potter was equal to all he met but he seems to single out you and that wizard traitor Weasley. I thought of taking him, but I'd rather every single one of you be tortured instead of just him. So I decided to take you. You and that traitor seem to be getting along _just_fine and the traitor is best friends with Potter. When I am done with you, you will tell the traitor and the traitor will tell Potter. What a vulnerable yet predicatable chain. Which brings me to my next question: What do you think I am going to do to you?"

My mind reeled. Where was my wand? Did I even bring it with me? Are Ron and Harry okay now? Then the Cruciatus curse hit me once again.

"I could do this all day mudblood, however I do want to get to the main event. This _will _hurt me more than it hurts you, trust me."

And with that he tied me up, raped, and tortured me some more. It was humiliating and awful and there was nothing I could do about it. I was bawling the whole time while Voldemort kept repeating how disgusting I was. My life was over. Before he let me go he did put another spell on me. It was his version of why he couldn't touch Harry for so long. He said that if I touched the person I truly love the Cruciatus Curse will be cast upon them. I would never be able to touch Ron again.

Voldemort let me and his plan was in effect. I went back to Hogwarts with my eyes cast down. I had to avoid Ron and I couldn't talk to anybody. I raced as fast as I could to my room, closed the curtains and just cried. A few of my roommates came in and were telling me Ron was asking for me and what was wrong but I told them that I just had a bad day and that I'll be better tomorrow, tell Ron that I would see him later. Tomorrow came and I couldn't get out of bed. I told everyone that I was sick and I wasn't going to class. Someone offered to go get Madam Pomfrey but I immediately declined saying it was just a cold. All day, as I lay in my bed, I just replayed the scene over and over again. Around nine o'clock the next night, I got another message from Ron. _Are you ok? You disappeared on me yesterday and I'm worried about you._ _Ron._

I sent back _I'm sick and I will talk to you tomorrow. Hermione._

That night I fell asleep and I woke myself up screaming when I saw Voldemort in my dreams. My roommates were growing more and more concerned but I brushed it off as casually as I could. Finally, I knew that I had to confront Ron. But I didn't know how I was going to do it without him touching me. My fake sickness could only last so long. After going through every possible scenario in my head, I knew that I would have to hurt him to have him leave me alone.

On Tuesday morning I woke up and immediately started to tear up, but I shamed myself for feeling so selfish and worrying about my own feelings. I got dressed and went to the common room. I looked around and noticed Ron wasn't there. Harry and Ginny were and they stopped talking as soon as I came into view. Harry tried to give me a smile, as well as he could in those days, and Ginny jumped up and asked if I was alright and if there was anything that she could do.

I didn't feel like talking to either of them so after I shrugged them off I made my way to the breakfast hall. I wasn't hungry at all but I felt I needed to eat since it probably wasn't healthy otherwise. As soon as I put the first forkful of food into my mouth I felt myself gag and so I just sat there and looked around. Everyone was going on with their lives as if nothing happened. Some were talking about exams, others quidditch. It was maddening! I looked up and saw Ron come into the breakfast hall and smile when he saw me. My heart broke into a million pieces as he sat down across from me. "Hey 'Mione, how are you feeling? I was so worried about you!" I tried to smile as he said this but I knew that my face just looked cold. "Hey are you ok? You don't look too well."

"Yeah, well, you don't look so well either!" I snapped. Hey immediately looked taken aback and then grew a little annoyed.

"Whoa, whoa. Don't take my head off. You may be sick but you still have to be nice to me. It's written in the "Having A Boyfriend" book by Ronald Weasley."

He was so cute and sweet for trying to break the tension I almost laughed… but the laugh didn't make it to my voice or my face.

"Ron, we need to talk as soon as possible."

"Ok, let's talk now. What's up?"

"No, in private. How about tonight in one of the classrooms?" I was trying to keep my voice even. I was on the verge of crying but I knew I had to hold it together in public.

"Alright. You name the time and the place and we'll talk"

We made plans then I immediately got up and walked as fast as possible for the doors. I needed some fresh air, now!

As soon as I stepped outside into the brisk February air, I felt better. My tears started to go away so I just kept walking. In the back of my head I knew that I was missing at least five classes today on top of the four classes yesterday, but I just didn't care. To hell with my grades, I was too depressed to care.

I ended up wandering aimlessly around the whole school grounds until it was time to meet with Ron. I slowly walked in the school and made my way to the room where Ron was. I had resolved that I would find a way to end things with him and him never wanting anything to do with me again. It was going to tear me apart, but I knew that I had to wound him badly. As soon as I walked in the door Ron jumped up and was going to give me a hug. I immediately sidestepped behind one of the tables so he couldn't come near me. Voldemort had said that the Cruciatus Curse would happen and I was not going to test that theory. As soon as I stepped away from him, Ron dropped his arms and immediately had a puzzled look on his face. "Ok, 'Mione, you've got my attention. What's up?"

I looked up into his face and realized that I would never be able to love anyone else again. I would live the life of a old spinster with this burning regret in my heart but I didn't care. Anything to save him.

"Ron, I don't know how else to tell you this without just coming out and saying it. I, um, cheated on you."

You could have heard a pin drop when I said the words. I looked up into his face and I saw confusion then anger, then disbelief, then anger again. "What?"

"Yesterday when you went back for my present I realized that I don't want to be with you anymore. I've been seeing someone else almost the entire time we've been together and I love him more. I'm sorry but I don't want to be with you anymore."

"You've been with another bloke other than me?"

This was where I started to cry. I tried to lay it on as thick as I could.

"Yes."

"But Hermione, we've never… I mean…"

I blushed. I always blush!

"You're right, we haven't. But I have with him and I want him more than I want you. So I guess this is goodbye."

He looked at me incredulously and then, with the table between us, he leaned in to my face and stared into my eyes.

"You're not telling me the truth. What happened? Just tell me the truth!"

I couldn't catch my breath I was crying so hard. I had to hurt him to save him so with one final breath, I cleared my tears and stared equally as hard into his eyes.

"The truth is, I am not in love with you Ron Weasley, I never have been and I never will be. Leave me alone!"

His looked shattered whatever resolve I had left. I turned around with my head held as high as I could and walked through the doors. As soon as I closed them behind me, I ran as fast as I could to wherever my feet would take me. I found another classroom and sunk into a chair and let my emotions run wild. I cried myself to sleep in the classroom and woke up in the early morning hours. I slowly walked back to the common room and decided that those were the last tears I would ever cry about this situation.

The next morning, I woke up to a common room abuzz with the latest gossip. Turns out, the gossip was about me. It was now common news that Ron and I broke up but no one knew why. _I can't believe he didn't tell anyone why._ I smiled at the thought then quickly dismissed it. I was about to go back up to my room to catch a nap and to skip all of my classes when I saw Ginny head straight towards me. She grabbed me by the arm, dragged me out of the common room, and into a nearby secluded hallway.

"What the hell is going on?!" Ginny hissed.

"Ron and I broke up, Gin. That's all."

"THAT'S ALL?! You cheated on him! How could you? Ron was so upset last night that he kept Harry up all night. Naturally I heard about it this morning." Ginny was yelling yet trying to keep her voice as as low as possible. My heart broke. I forgot that in hurting Ron I would probably lose the entire Weasley clan's friendship and possibly Harry's.

"Oh, Gin. You don't know the half of it. Just leave me alone." I was trying to sound arrogant, pushy, and confident but it sounded like I was whining.

"Hermione, you were the one person in Hogwarts that I knew I could get the truth from. You lied to my brother's face and I will never forgive you for that."

I forgot that I resolved to not cry, it lasted only an hour.

"I understand Ginny. Goodbye." And I walked away as quickly as I could to my room. I huddled in the bed until I felt numb then tried to go to sleep. The nightmares kept waking me up, but I could control my screaming now.

It took me a week to start going back to classes but my heart was not in them. Professor McGonagall confronted me about it and I told her that I was no longer interested in becoming an Auror and what careers are offered in the Muggle World. I remember her incredulous look but handed me one sheet of paper with Muggle career paths. Most of them needed only one or two N.E. to get in so I skipped all of the classes that I didn't need for the rest of the year. Turns out that I had enough credits to officially graduate last year but just needed to take my N.E. . I left as soon as I could and immediately got a job in the muggle world. ***

Every day since I left Hogwarts I have had this yearning to go back and let everyone know what actually happened and to hell with the consequences. But I know the consequences: Ron and Harry will get hurt and may die and I'd rather die alone with my secret then have anything else happen to them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So things were going as well as they possibly could within my miserable life. I was not making a name for myself at my job, I was close to getting fired simply because I didn't truly care about what I did. I wandered aimlessly at night and found myself in strange places around London. I wanted someone to be as lonely and miserable as me and I tried to pick a fight with whomever would try and cheer me up. It was awful, I was an absolute pain with everyone and I prayed for heart just to give up on me already so death would be here. I woke up every night from my nightmare and my body felt as though I went through the rape and the torture again and again. I started avoiding sleep and dreaming altogether. My dreams start off so sweet with them being just of me and Ron together and when I look up into Ron's face all I see are those black, soulless eyes. It's enough to make a person go insane which is what everyone thought of me pretty much. I had to keep reminding myself that as long as I was away from Ron, everything would be alright and I was protecting him and Harry.

Every once in a while I see a flash of red hair and it makes my heart stop. Instead of trying to recognize the face I turn around and walk in the opposite direction or duck into a coffee shop until I no longer see any red hair. It's made me late for work countless times.

Today, I resolved that I was going to go to work and try and talk my boss into giving me less work. Something I was hoping he'd fire me for, you know to add to my depression. Then I saw him. Ron Weasley was standing outside a café with a map and asking for directions from someone. He grew taller, more muscular, and had a little facial hair. He looked amazing and I caught myself thinking how nice it would be to be wrapped up in his arms and how much I wanted to run to him. Then my fear returned and my breath caught in my throat. I stopped walking which caused a number of people to trip over themselves in order to get around me. A couple of curses were thrown my way that caused everyone in the immediate area to turn to see what was going on. Before I drew too much attention to myself, I stepped into the first shop along the street and closed the door. I looked around and noticed I was in a music shop.

"Can I help you?" asked the shopkeeper.

I searched for something to say. Nothing was coming out and I was short of breath from my fear.

"Listen, Ma'am, if you're not in here to buy something I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

I looked outside and tried to see to the end of the street where I saw Ron. He seemed to be gone.

I turned and faced the shopkeeper, mumbled a non-genuine apology, and made my way out of the store. I walked down the street and in the direction of work constantly looking over my shoulder for the red hair. I decided that I would move as soon as possible and definitely would be quitting my job. Becoming anonymous was my number one priorty. Maybe I'd move to Australia, I hear the sun there is terrible for redheads.

For the next week, I was on edge and couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. My boss was not upset that I quit and I neither was I. I had enough money to get me through the next two months before I'd be hurting for some work.

I decided to get some fresh air and look for a job. Maybe at a library so I wouldn't be bored all day. I was lost in my own world daydreaming when I felt someone grab me from behind! I was about to scream and start biting and kicking when they spun me and gave me the biggest bear hug that I have ever received.

"Hermione! Holy s*#t it's you! How are you? Oh my God, I haven't seen you in ages!" I was shaking when I looked up to see who it was. Fred Weasley was grinning down at me. My face paled and registered shock. I started to feel faint when Fred wrapped me up again. "Hermione Granger I thought you disappeared from the face of the Earth, how are you?"

I didn't know what to do. Should I make a run for it? Knowing Fred, he'd probably run after me and tackle me to the ground so I decided that since I couldn't possible escape him, I might as well try and make this visit as short as possible. "Hi Fred." My voice was small and so incredibly shaky.

"Hi Fred? That's all I get? Nothing else? Geez, Hermione, the Muggles have turned you into a heathen. Come on, let's catch up. How about a drink?"

"Um, I don't…"

"I will not leave you alone until we chat. Do you remember how annoying I can be?"

All too well did I remember how annoying Fred and his brother could be. I agreed to the drink and he offered his arm as we walked along the street. I pretended like I didn't see the gesture and kept my eyes lowered as I walked along the street. If Fred noticed my nervousness he didn't say much about it. The entire time I was walking, I kept wondering how much Fred knew about what happened seventh year. We finally made our way into a pub and sat down at the nearest table. He ordered a beer and raised his eyebrows while I asked for some tea.

"So, Hermione, how have things been with you in the Muggle world?"

"Wonderful. I love it here." I tried to sound convincing but it was not working.

"Mm hmm, sure."

"What are you doing in this part of London, Fred?"

"Research! I have to keep up on the latest joke and gag! Muggles don't know a lot but they can be quite creative when it comes to entertaining themselves." He smiled. I was lost when I noticed how similar Fred's smile was to Ron's. The slight smirk to the right and the way his…

_My goodness, Hermione. Keep it together! Daydreaming is becoming a problem for you…_ Fred was chatting away, not leaving me any room to talk, which was fine, since I didn't have anything to say. I was finishing my tea and thinking of a way to get rid of Fred, when I heard him say, "Mum will be so excited you're coming to visit."

My eyes widened. "What did you say? Fred, I'm not coming to the Burrow! I am never going to go there!"

"Whoa, whoa, Hermione ease up a bit!" He threw his hands up in defense. "There are two things I have to say to that little outburst. One, it's my birthday and I will not take 'no' for an answer. And two, Ron won't be there. He's off gallivanting on some Auror thing and won't be anywhere near there which is what I know is holding you back from coming."

I tried to look offended. "Fred, first; Happy Birthday, and second; why would it make any difference if Ron was there or not?"

"Oh come off it Hermione, the whole family knows that you and Ron got into this huge argument in seventh year and haven't spoken since. Everyone misses you! Harry and Ginny will be there! Come on, pleeeeeeease tell me you'll come. I hate it here in the Muggle world and I will keep coming back here everyday to bug you until you agree. You can't say know to someone's birthday. "

_An argument? I only wish that were true._

My fist reaction was yes. But then I thought about Harry and Ginny. What were they going to say to me? The imagined wrath from Ginny I was creating in my mind was horrible enough.

"I don't know, Fred. It's been so long."

"Great! I'll tell Mum! See you on the 18th!"

"Fred! I didn't say yes!" but he already put money on the table and was out the door before I could finish my rebuttal. Apparently selective hearing is a strong Weasley trait.

I thought about what was actually going to happen. _Am I really agreeing to this? Am I insane? Right into the Lion's nest…_

My desire to go was far outweighing any fear that I was feeling. Just to be around friends from the past was making me want to go home and pack my bags to leave right now. Which made me realize that I had no idea how I was getting to the Burrow. _ Fred Weasley, you better be telling the truth. _I shook my head knowing what an outrageous statement that was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

When I made my way back to my apartment I decided that I might as well start packing. I packed up everything I owned since I knew I was thinking about moving anyway due to limited income. I got out the smallest suitcase I owned and put small set of clothes together. If I needed an excuse to get out of the Burrow, a lack of clothes could be believable. I was incredibly nervous about the entire thing, I got a funny feeling in my stomach and a sort of itching in my teeth every time I thought of one of the Weasleys but all I got when I thought of Ron was pure dread. _What if Ron lied to you? What if it's Voldemort?_

Yet, deep down, I wanted to see Ron. There was this pulling in my stomach whenever I thought of him and…then the memory of that night returns to my thoughts. A wave of nausea comes over me and I grab my desk to steady myself. _You touch him, he gets hurt._

I needed to escape. There was no way that I could survive an entire weekend at the Weasleys, not have everyone interrogate me, and not being able to trust myself not telling someone. I started packing everything I could see. Clothes, random make-up, hair controlling spray… _which did not work in the least bit, by the way… _I had no idea how Fred was going to come and get me, but when he did I was not going to be here. I grabbed my money, my suitcase and started to head towards the door. I was halfway across the room when I hear, "Going somewhere, muggle?"

I stop dead in my tracks. The voice was so menacing and harsh that I was immediately back in the Shrieking Shack. I gasp, my eyes fills up with tears, and I cover my mouth so I don't scream. I slowly turn around expecting to see the man who raped and tortured me and wanted something else with me. What I saw was a man in my fireplace, half-grinning, and muffling his voice with his hands so he sounded different. I collapsed to the floor onto my knees and started to sob. "Oh my god, Fred!" I couldn't talk, sobs were the only thing coming out, and I was hunched over trying to catch my breath.

Fred came running out of the fireplace and immediately wrapped his arms around me on the floor. "Hermione?! Are you okay? I was just playing a joke… I thought… Oh my god, Hermione are you okay?"

I slowly calmed down. My breath got longer and I felt as though I had just run a marathon. My body was exhausted and my whole face looked as though someone hit me repeatedly. When I finally wiped away the last of my tears I tried to smile and said, "Fred, you can NEVER do that to me again. I love your voice as is… no others, ok?"

He looked at me as if I had something repulsive growing out of my head. "Alright, Hermione. Whatever you say." He was still rattled, I could tell when he tried to make his voice go really high and said, "Let's get going to the Burrow."

I grabbed a handful of floo powder and put it in the flames. Green Flames. I stepped in and yelled, "The Burrow!" I wish I had muttered "but if you take me someplace else, it's okay!" but before I knew what was happening I was swirling in ash and dust and feeling sick. Not knowing if I was feeling sick from the swirling around or from the feeling of dread that had stayed with me since Fred tried to be funny.

My feet hit the floor but I kept my eyes closed. What if I yelled for it to take me back? I continued keeping my eyes closed when I heard, " Hermione? Are you okay, dear?"

I looked up and Mrs. Weasley was staring at me inquisitively. I felt like I was in my first year and I was looking at her friendly face for the first time.

"Mrs. Weasley!" I shouted and I threw my arms around her. I heard a commotion in the other room and "Hermione actually _came_? Wow, this ought to be good." I saw Ginny and she was giving me a cold stare.

_Maybe Ron wouldn't be my biggest worry after all…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I couldn't help but blush at what Ginny had said. My breath caught in my throat when I looked her in the eye. "Hi, Gin" I said and sounded weak.

She looked at me, muttered a "hey" and then stood there and proceeded to ignore me. Mrs. Weasley was trying to make polite conversation but I was barely keeping up. I was trying to think of something to say to Ginny that would make her talk to me. I felt incredibly guilty that I caused her hatred toward me.

One by one the rest of the Weasleys all came down the stairs. Fred was already downstairs smiling at his Mother in triumph and he smiled when George, Charlie, his wife, Mr. Weasley, Bill, his wife and Harry came down. They came down slowly with a pause between each one. I don't know if it was me being paranoid but it seemed like they were trying to tease me. Was Ron at the end of this massive line of people? George, Charlie, Mr. Weasley, Bill, and Harry gave me bear hugs like Fred. The two new wives were polite handshakes and Ginny continued to ignore me.

The topic was on Quidditch and politics until Mr. Weasley decided to shift the conversation to me. He started asking me all sorts of questions about what I did and all sorts of questions on muggle contraptions. Nothing had seemed to change from when we were in school. I started to believe that I was going to have a relaxing weekend filled with nothing but catching up with the people I loved. I hardly noticed when the door opened because I was smiling at the debate that had sparked up between Bill and George. Then Mrs. Weasley shouted, "Ronald! I can't believe you made it! You said you would be away for weeks!"

I froze and the smile vanished from my face. I felt myself heat up when everyone got up from where they were sitting at the dining room table to greet Ron. I looked around and I saw Ginny staring at me with her head cocked to the side as if to say _What are you going to do now?_ My eyes filled up with tears and I got up as quickly and quietly as I could from the table. Ron was only on Weasley number two and making his way towards the kitchen. I ran outside to the backyard of the Burrow. I had every intention of running until I couldn't run anymore when I heard, "Hermione!" I stopped. Ginny had followed me out and was running after me. I was out of breath and felt as though I was having an asthma attack.

"Why are you running?" Ginny had resumed her cold stance of crossed arms and a completely awful look.

"Gin, I need to leave. It was wonderful to see you. Can you help me get back?"

"No. I will not." I just stared at her. "Not until you tell me why you are leaving."

"No…" the tears began to fall from my eyes.

"Hermione? Why are you crying?"

"So much has happened, Gin. I can't face anyone in there. I am just not ready for any of this, ok?" I saw her demeanor change. She uncrossed her arms and put them on her hips. A slightly less hostile posture but still defensive.

"Face anyone? You faced my entire family just fine and then run off when Ron comes through the door? I'd say someone still has guiltly conscience…"

"Oh, Gin. You have no idea. None. Nothing is as it seems, alright?" I can't tell you anything—I. Need. To Leave."

"What are you talking about? Come on Hermione, why can't you talk to Ron?"

I looked into her face and suddenly I was tired. Tired of holding in everything. Tired of feeling guilty and hated. And I wanted to tell someone about this… and maybe Ginny was the person who I needed in my corner.

So I told her. The entire story with Voldemort, the awful things he did to me, and why I can't face Ron. When I finished, she had a look on her face that I couldn't read. I didn't know if she was angry, scared, or unaffected by the entire thing.

"Say something, Gin."

"I thought you had cheated on Ron this whole time and was too selfish to admit it. Oh. My. God. Hermione, are you kidding me?! Are you okay? I will..." and a few choice swear words exited her mouth that were quite creative "…kill him. You have to tell Ron!"

"No! Gin,I can't. He will try to break the curse somehow and the only way is to defeat Voldemort. He will tell Harry and then Harry will try to defeat him. Someone will end up hurt and everyone is at peace right now Ginny. I don't want to ruin that. I'd rather live with this pain forever than hurt Ron or Harry."

"Everyone is at peace? What about you Hermione? Are you at peace?"

"It doesn't matter about me…"

"Yes it does! Hermione, you have to tell them. It's only fair!"

"Ginny. I just can't. Please. You have to promise me that you won't tell!"

"Oh, alright. I won't tell. But you should tell them!" and with that she walked towards the burrow. _As I watched her walk away, angry at me again but for completely different reasons than before, I couldn't help but feel like this weight had been lifted from my body. Emotionally, I was lighter. Not much, but a baby step._

As Ginny went back inside the burrow, Fred stuck his head out.

"Hey Hermione! Whatcha doin' out here?"

"Fred Weasley, I am going to kill you!"

"Well, that settles that question. Anything else I can get you?"

"Why didn't you tell me Ron was coming?"

"I didn't know." and seeing the look of disbelief on my face he added, "Honestly! Even Mum knew that you two are still on non-speaking terms and didn't invite him!"

"Then why did he come?"

"I just asked him. He heard you were here and he wanted to see you. He hasn't seen in you forever"

"What!? Fred! I can't see him!"

"Oh, come on Hermione! The argument couldn't have been that bad to last all these years!"

"Oh Fred, it's not the argument." He looked confused. And I hate seeing people confused so I said," Look, there was not an argument. Something happened and I can't ever see him again."

"What happened?" he said with a joking manner.

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Will you do me a favor?"

"Depends…"

"Will you distract Ron for me while I go upstairs?"

"I am nobody's servant! But for you, okay. You will tell me eventually won't you?"

"Ha! Good luck with that. Hurry up and distract him!"

"I will find out eventually, you know that don't you?! All right, All right! I'll go. I'll get him out the front door." And with that I crept up to Ginny's room and started to unpack. I stayed in the room the rest of the evening while I heard the entire family laughing and joking with one another. I strained to hear Ron's voice but decided that I did not want to even allow myself that. While I was listening to the merry making that was going on all I kept hearing inside my head was _See? They're happier without you in their lives. They are happy and safe while you are away. _

I forced myself to lay down and try to get some sleep. I was hoping that things would look better in the morning. One thing is for certain, I needed to get back to the muggle world as soon as possible.

I had the weirdest dream when sleep finally came. I was running from Voldemort. Nothing unusual, since I had the dream before but then an unknown figure came at me from the other way. My first instinct was to stop and run back towards Voldemort. But I kept running towards the figure once I saw that it was glowing. I couldn't see the figure's face and I couldn't swerve from the figure's path. All of a sudden a golden light surrounded the figure. The figure tunneled the light and cast it at me. I jumped out of the way. It hit Lord Voldemort but the figure exploded as Voodemort perished.

Then I woke up. Was the figure aiming the light at me? Is Voldemort gone? _Hold on here Hermione. Dreams aren't real, dreams aren't real._ _But what about Harry? He had dreams about Mr. Weasley! Stop it! You are just going to get yourself worked up._

I looked at my watch on my wrist. It said 2:32. _Great. I am wide-awake and the world has another 5 hours to sleep. Nothing unusual there!_

I decided to walk down the stairs to the kitchen. I figured some food might help me get back to sleep. The refrigerator door was open and the light from it was surrounding a figure rummaging through it. My breath caught in my throat. _The figure from my dream?__Don't__be silly, Hermione, dreams aren't real!_

I backed away slowly. Who was it?

The figure stood up suddenly as if it knew it was being watched. They closed the refrigerator and set down some juice on the table. "Fred? George? Is that you?" My voice was high and scared.

I squinted as much as I could and when my eyes finally adjusted to the dark I saw who it was. It was Ron! My mouth fell open in shock and I just stood there. _What am I going to do? Oh, no! Back away Hermione. Go back upstairs now!_But I wasn't listening to myself. I was staying exactly where I was looking at him search in the darkness. "Come on oooout whoever you aaaare" he sang in a tune.

He then put down the juice he was pouring into a glass and slowly started towards me. My breath quickened and my eyes opened as wide as they could. I started to shake since all I could see was Voldemort coming towards me. It was then I realized I was scared of Ron. I was scared of Ron turning back into Voldemort again.

Ron kept coming towards me. He was squinting his eyes trying to see who was the intruder on his midnight meal.

He stopped and his eyes flew open when he saw that it was me. "Hermione? Is that you?"

His voice sounded great. I wanted to run to him and have him tell me it would be okay but I was paralyzed. _You can't touch him! You'll hurt him!_

"Hermione?" he asked again. "Are you okay?"

I slowly came back into myself. "Hi, Ron." I barely said it above a whisper. But he heard it.

"How have you been?" and he immediately stepped towards me to go in for a hug.

I dodged his hug and quickly said "I have to go."

"Wait a second." His voice turned angry. "Why are you running away from me? You ran out this afternoon before I could say hi and now you can't even give me a hug?"

I hesitated. This was the moment of truth. _Do I tell him? Of course not, why would you? But I need to get this off my chest! You're being selfish! It's not always about you!_

"Please, Ron. I have to go."

"No!" Then he marched right over to me and tried to wrap his arms around me in a bear hug. For the first few milliseconds I felt his warm embrace and his strong arms tightly squeeze me. It was paradise and I never wanted to leave this moment. Suddenly, I felt him squeeze me too tight. Ron started to thrash and clench his teeth as the Cruciatus Curse hit him. I watched in horror as he was forced to lay on the ground squirming. He didn't scream though. As the curse tore through him, he stared straight into my eyes. When I finally had my hands off of him he lay still and spoke."What happened?"

I burst into tears and sobbed "This is why I can't see you Ron! This will happen every time you touch me!"

"I don't get it. I tried to give you a hug and you put the Cruciatus Curse on me? Hell, Hermione I was just glad to see you!"

"No! I didn't cast it, Ron! It was… was…" _what am I going to say?_ "I can't tell you."

"You're not making any sense. If it wasn't you, who was it?" He was starting to get up off of the floor and I could tell he was more emotionally hurt than anything else.

"Ron, please don't make me tell you. I know you deserve to know but…"

"Hermione… I…" He stared at me again and my insides completely melted. "What's going on?" I was completely terrified and completely head over heels in love with him and I had no idea which emotion I wanted to give in to.

"Ron I want to tell you more than anything in the world but you have to understand that it would be the end of everything. I should have never come here and I am so sorry for hurting you!"

Ron swore. "Alright, 'Mione, alright. Can you at least give me a hint?"

_My fear subsided for a brief moment and I looked his slumped body from the curse. His nickname for me, the guilt I felt, and the desire I had for him loosened my resolve. _

"Ron… Do you remember the night in 7th year when I told you I cheated on you?"

"Jesus, that was awful. Yes, I remember, Hermione. Why bring it up?"

"Ron, I didn't cheat on you."

The look on his face could have stopped a Dragon in its path.

And with that, I turned and walked up the stairs. I locked the door, crawled into bed and tried to drift into an uneasy sleep. All I kept dreaming was Ron's face as he stared into mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 6

The next day I stayed in the room. I couldn't face anyone. I had this fear that Ron had told everyone and they were waiting for me to come down so they could question me. I was scared that I would have to tell anyone. Ginny knew the entire thing but I trusted her enough to not tell anyone. It would take Ron quite a while to figure out, this I was sure of but I was scared that Ron might confide in Harry and between the two of them they come of with some creative solutions to their dilemmas.

Ginny would not stop hounding me on telling Ron the truth. She was such a stubborn Weasley.

"Hermione, Do you actually want to carry this pain the rest of your life?" she asked for the millionth time.

"Yes! If it means keeping people safe, yes!"

"Hermione, think of your own happiness!"

"Ginny, I am happy that everyone is safe. I am ecstatic, actually so I'm not going to tell him. You might as well stop demanding this from me."

So she walks off frustrated at me. It would be comical, if the pain weren't so real. I decide that I need to leave tonight… I can't risk hurting Ron again. What if he decided to force the information out of me? What if he got hurt again? I could not, would not do that. I needed to leave as soon as possible.

Ginny comes into my room near dinnertime. "Come on Hermione, dinner is ready."

I put on my best smile and say, "No thanks Gin. I'm not hungry."

She looks at me incredulously and states "You haven't eaten all day! Besides, Ron left late this afternoon so you presence is required."

I stared at her. I was half overjoyed and half hurt at the same time. I wanted to say goodbye to him or him to me. I flushed when I realized that I still expected him to like me.

Gin saw the hesitation on my face and quickly said, "Great. Five minutes, 'kay?" She turned and walked downstairs.

_I stood in the room a moment and realized how incredibly rude I must seem to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. I decided, since Ron wasn't there, that I would make an appearance and would leave as soon as I was able. _

At dinner, everyone was seated at the table with delicious food all around them. I was sitting there with my eyes cast down and being very quiet. No one was asking me any questions, which was a relief. I was enjoying the conversation and stealing glances at Harry and Ginny. They were so comfortable with one another now. They held hands and I couldn't help feel jealous. I wanted something like that with someone! _No, not just anyone… I wanted it with Ron. _The thought instantly made me sad and I cast my eyes back down.

It was towards the end of dinner and everyone was enjoying his or her last piece of dessert when the door opened. I've decided that doors should have a one-way mirror to them so people could know exactly who's coming to your door. Once again the flash of red-hair and Ron enetered the Burrow again. This time I didn't panic. I just kept my head down, looking for a way out.

Mrs. Weasley jumped up and said, "Ron! Two days in a row? This is wonderful!Have you eaten yet?" She was up and ready to hand food to him.

"Yes, Mum thank-you."

"How about dessert?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Where and what on Earth did you eat?" she asked surprised

"At the Ministry they fed us, it was nothing like yours, Mum don't worry."

She was about to ask further when Fred chipped in to clear the table.

"I'll help you Fred." I needed an excuse to get away from the table. I was in the kitchen piling dishes into the sink when Fred came up to me and asked, "Any chance I can know yet?"

I smiled. "Nope. Not yet."

He sighed. "I am going to know eventually, you know that right? I always find out people's secrets!"

"I'm sure everyone will know eventually, Fred… Unfortunately."

I quickly got the dishes cleaned and back into the cupboard so I could make my escape into Ginny's room. I got everything ready to leave when Ginny came into my room and saw what I was doing.

"Leaving so soon, Hermione?"

"I have to Gin. I can't be here any longer."

"I don't think this is a good idea Hermione. You should stay and work this out. This isn't healthy for you or for me either!"

"No, Gin. I'm leaving and that's final. I need some floo powder, please." I turned my back on her and hoped she would do as I asked. I didn't hear her leave but I waited five minutes until I crawled into bed and fell asleep. My dreams woke me up and looked at the clock and it read 2:12. Perfect timing for me to leave. I saw that Ginny had left me some floo powder on the desk with a note on how to get back to my apartment exactly. I said a silent thank-you and I crept down the stairs towards the kitchen. I stumbled down the last two and made quite a noise as I tried to catch myself. _You_ _Klutz!_I hit the floor with my bag when a head popped up from the couch. I froze. _You can't let anyone see you!_I pressed myself against the wall and hoped that they couldn't see me.

"Hermione? I know it's you come on out here, I need to talk to you."

_Not Ron again! Damn it. Ginny must have told him I'd be trying to escape._

"Ron, please just let me leave. I have to get out of here."

"No." and he got up right in my path towards the door. "I 'm not going to let you go without me talking to you. The only way out is through the door behind me. You wouldn't want to hurt me again, would you?"

My eyes filled with tears as I realized that he was willing to hurt himself just to talk with me. I walked over and sat on the couch opposite of the one where he was sleeping. "There's nothing to say, Ron. I've said all I've needed to say and I am going back to the Muggle world for good."

"I think there is something to say." He sat down where he was sleeping and cleared his eyes. We were facing each other but I couldn't look him in the eyes. His shirt was lodged a little high and I could see some of his stomach muscles and… _Oh my god, are you seriously ogling him right now? Get it together!_

"Where to begin, hmm? Ah, why were you leaving me?"

I stared at him. Leaving him in seventh year or leaving him now? Either way I hesitated but decided on the safest answer I could think of.

"To get away from here, of course."

"Why?"

"Because I realized that I don't enjoy the company here. It's a little too crowded and I'd feel more welcome pretty much anywhere else."

He paused and looked at me. I thought I could repeat seventh year. I had to hurt him to save him.

"I'm going to ignore that, you know why? You're lying and I could always tell when you're lying. I thought all these years that you cheated on me. When I had tried to talk to you in seventh year, you ran the other way! I knew you were lying but clearly you didn't want to be with me anymore. So, now's your chance to clear the air. What happened?"

I covered my eyes with my hands and tried to find the resolve I had a few minutes ago. When he looked at me, he made me feel weak and all I wanted him to do was tell me everything would be okay and we could be together and… I knew it would never happen.

He came over to me while I had my hands covering my eyes. He kneeled in front of me and said "If I can do anything to help, please tell me. You know," he hesistated then, "I've thought about you a lot since seventh year."

"Don't, Ron. Please don't go there. You have no idea how much I think about you, about what happened and how much…I want to tell you. But I can't. You might try to do something rash or tell Harry and then both of you would be in serious danger."

"Harry?" he sounded confused. "What does Harry have to do with anything?"

"Everything! I'm trying to protect him!"

His face was lost in thought for a second then he grew angry. "You fancy Harry?"

I looked up at him. "Ron… no! Of course not, he and I are friends. Just, please. Talking with you after all these years has been perfect and I want to remember us as we are now. Safe, ok?"

As I looked down, he reached up to wipe away a tear from my face. I felt his warm touch again and leaned in. Then the tear turned electric and the Cruciatus Cruse tore through his body again. Oh my god, I've ruined everything!

When the curse had run its course he said, "Okay. I'm slowly learning if I touch you, I get pain. Let's avoid that, ok?"

But I wanted him to touch me. I wanted everything about him and I couldn't have him. I sprang up from the couch and on my way upstairs I whispered, "I'm so sorry Ron!"


	6. Chapter 6

That night, I lay in the bed thinking of Ron and what he had to be thinking. I imagined him imagining me. I slipped into one of my rare happy dreams of Ron and I married, happy, and safe. Sometimes I wish I could stay lost in my dreams foreverbut my dreams always turn into the night with Voldemort, so they turn out to be horrible. My dreams were always so realistic! When I woke up from one of my nightmares in the middle of the night, I reached over and turned on the light.

Ginny was sitting up and staring at me. It freaked me out a little so I said, "Uh, Gin? You okay?"

"If you're going to leave, leave now. Ron went to sleep in his own bed and I don't know how many more chances you are going to get."

I nodded. I didn't know if she knew the conversation that had happened between me and Ron but I took the opportunity she gave me. When I arrived home, I looked around at the flat. It was so lonely that at first I thought I had made a horrible mistake in leaving. Then I remember Ron and I realize that I should be happy with what I have.

I was about to try and go back to sleep with the hopes of getting a job tomorrow when I noticed that a tattered book was lying on the desk with one of the pages dog-eared from someone marking the spot. I read the title, Dreams: You or Them? _Huh? Where did this come from?_

Of course, me being the bookworm, I naturally didn't start from where the page was marked, but at the beginning. Three hours later, I was finished with all 356 pages of text. When I was done, I was immediately suspicious as to how the book got here and how I didn't come across this information before. I had done so much research over the years trying to figure out a way to break the spell. According to the book, dreams can actually be controlled and manipulated and even joined with other people's dreams. It just takes a lot of discipline not to let your mind wander so far that it never comes back (basically go insane). Problem was, I haven't used this complicated or any useful magic in a long time. I started to think of all the possibilities that I could have with this newfound dream control. Was it possible that Ron and I could see each other in our dreams and him not get hurt? Does Voldemort know about this?

Of course, I thought of the worst case scenario where Ron got killed and Harry along with him and I was the cause of the entire thing. The thought nearly made me throw the book away but the longing I had for Ron was undeniable. Talking to him was the spark and I needed fuel to keep my fire going. I decided to get something to eat to take my mind off it a little.

It was 5:00 in the morning and I knew of a great bakery that opened early and had some delicious pastries. I walked, carrying my book under my arm and my wand (which I had to dig for to find) under my shirt. I decided I was going to make a plan as to how this was going to work. Walking through the front of the shop, I looked in and saw that there was already a man eating a bagel at a table near a window. I was surprised but didn't think it was anything to cause panic over. I ordered my food and sat down at the opposite side of the shop near the back, near the gigantic brick ovens. I started to read the book at the marked page spot again when I heard a voice say, "Hermione Granger, you haven't changed one bit." I gave myself whiplash looking up to see Professor Lupin staring at me with a slight grin on his face. My face however, must have been a mixture of pure panic and surprise because he immediately put his hands up in defense and said, "I'm here to help! I gave you that book you're reading there. Can I sit and talk with you?"

"… you what?!"

"I gave you that book. You see, while you've been hiding here in the muggle world all these years, everyone thought you were off your rocker. I couldn't believe it so I went searching for you. Enough money and energy, anything anyone in the muggle world can be found." He was smiling like he was proud. I was disgusted. How much did he know?

_Is he Lupin really? How did he find you here? Does Ron know where I live? Do Ron and Lupin talk to each other?_

"Hermione? You still with me?"

_Concentrate! _"Oh! Sorry Professor, I didn't mean to daydream, I was just so into the taste of this pastry here that my mind went completely blank. Sorry."

"Silly girl. You know you were never very good at lying." He chuckled. It was merry and light which immediately put me at ease. _Voldemort does not chuckle merrily._

"Professor Lupin, what exactly are you doing here and what do you want with me and my dreams?"

"As I said before, I came to help you. I can see that you're suffering pretty badly and I know exactly what it is like to go through something painful without anyone there to help you."

I trusted him completely at this point. Of course he knows how it is! "Now Hermione please don't get upset. Ginny has told me the entire story and was wondering if I could do anything to help."

"Ginny told you?! I am going to kill her!"

"Come on, smart witch I'm glad she did. You know that book you're holding there? Excellent piece of information don't you think? You know all those times when instead of becoming a werewolf that wanted to kill and hunt, I became a tame one and just curled up and went to sleep? Well? Don't you think that I wanted to dream about something? Control my imagination?"

"My imagination does not need to be controlled," I spat. "I didn't imagine _anything_!"

"I apologize for the wording, Hermione. I believe you, completely and I believe this book can help!"

I had a lot of different questions that I wanted to ask him, but ended up with, "How can this book help me? I've read it and all it tells me is about dream control. I don't see how this can help my situation."

"I'm going to be frank here Hermione. You will get a little uncomfortable but it needs to be done. Dream control is a form of magic that acts like… oh let me see… like Harry's magic worked for him when Voldemort killed his parents and he was left with nothing but a scar. Too simple for Voldemort to catch and it is such a powerful form of magic."

"What does it involve? I mean, controlling my dreams? How does it help me?" I was getting impatient. Yes he was giving me answers but he wasn't answering any of my questions!

"Patience, Hermione. You and Ron will be able to see each other in your dreams and be together. We can also help strengthen your bond between Ron, Harry, Ginny, and the entire Order and make us stronger!"

"Why me? If you need to strengthen the order then why do you need me to do it? Get someone else!"

"Well here's where it gets delicate. This cannot be done with anyone's knowledge that they are going to have their dreams invaded by someone else. Ron won't know what's going on, he won't even think of anything out of the normal happened because it's in his dreams. In order for someone to join another's dreams the host cannot be aware that anything is out of the ordinary. They will block the entry, and in some cases, go searching for the host and the two people will never find each other."

_This is unbelievable!_ Except that I was still extremely confused. "So I have to visit everyone in their dreams? That's it?"

"Well… yes. Pretty much. I know you're confused Hermione but I have been thinking and thinking of how to destroy Voldemort once and for all without any killing, sacrifices, or deaths on our side. You might be the key to this."

"I still don't understand how this has anything to do with Ron and me."

"Hermione, I think it has everything to do with you and Ron."

I blushed. Of course I knew what he was implying but I refused to let that vision enter my brain or I might get lost in a rather steamy daydream. Professor Lupin smiled. "You want to try then? The training will be long and hard, but it will work, I promise you."

I just looked at him. Of course I wanted to. I was just simply scared out of my mind. "Great!" he said, "I'll meet you here tomorrow morning at 6:00. Five is just a little too early for me I think."

I sat and stared at his retreating figure and couldn't help but feel some hope rise in the back of my mind.

_Oh Hermione, you couldn't keep your desires suppressed could you? You're going to get a lot of people in trouble, or worse!_


	7. Chapter 7

Ron's thoughts had been racing in circles for hours. After he found out she had run away successfully he didn't have the energy to yell at her accomplice: His sister. He couldn't understand why she had to avoid him. He didn't need to touch her just to talk with her! No matter how much he wanted to. He kept thinking about her, over and over again. He decided to go over every detail again to see if he had missed anything.

After he had found out that she "cheated" in seventh year, he couldn't feel anything for days. His heart felt like each half was on an opposite side of his body. Ginny and Harry had tried to comfort him but he knew that it was just as painful for them. They lost Hermione as a friend. After a couple of weeks he decided that he deserved an explanation from Hermione. He was going to ask why she thought some other boy was so much more attractive, so much more desirable than he, that she should go and shag him? Why she wanted to wait when the subject was brought up between them but all of a sudden she was so ready with another guy. He remembers trying to catch her alone in the common room, during studying in the library, even with everyone around in the Great Hall at meal times, anything to see her but she seemed to know his every move, and she had no intention on seeing him. From her behavior, he knew she seemed ashamed which only reinforced that the cheating was in fact true even though he didn't see her with anyone else.

So he was down to one best friend from the original crew. Harry was always there to help him out but he just plain missed Hermione. He missed her face and the way she argues with him. She stopped going to classes, which was extremely upsetting. He didn't think she'd every get out of seventh year but she passed one N.E.W.T. that got her into the Muggle world duties. He couldn't believe that either. The Aurors would be missing out on a great Witch.

He actually got enough N.E.W.T.s to work at the Ministry of Magic with the new program of the "Defense Against Dark Magic". Harry, being also an Auror, taught the basic defense spells (a refresher course if you will) to older Witches and Wizards and even more advice on Voldemort no one had ever learned before. It was absolutely brilliant and everyone felt safer because of it. Ginny and Harry were becoming closer as everyone foresaw but they still weren't an official item. Harry kept it that way on purpose much to Ginny's efforts otherwise. He, however, was so lonely he almost couldn't stand it. He thought he fell in love a couple of times after he graduated but each time the relationship ended with the girl saying to him, "I know that when you look at me and say that you love me, you're seeing someone else." He tried to deny it. Even begged a couple of them to come back, but he knew deep down, it was true. All he wanted was Hermione.

A couple really low periods in his life, he got so restless and so caught up in memories that he was determined to find Hermione. He didn't care where she was, he was going to see her. He finally got a hold of the Muggle Department and their formerly active members. Hermione's name was on there but not a current address. After some digging someone said they thought she was around the same flat. So he took a map and went out a couple of days to search. Nothing came of it and he felt stupid. Trying to find one person in the entire city of Muggle London? Good luck!

When Fred asked him back to the burrow for a meal with the family it sounded really good so he decided to take a little break and go there. The last thing he was expecting to see was Hermione. When he saw her, she took his breath away. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked and all he wanted to do was say hello to her. Then we she turned and walked out of the room, the anger from seventh year came flooding back with that demand for an explanation suddenly flaring up again.

He slept on the couch because his brothers had taken over his room again. Grabbing his customary late night snack was enjoyable when he heard someone stumble on the stairs. He looked, and there was Hermione standing there with a loaded suitcase looking scared out of her mind. He was just in briefs and a t-shirt and feeling a little sheepish due to his lack of clothing when she made a move towards the fireplace. He tried to sit her down and ask her why she was leaving. He couldn't help but try and hug her. He wanted to feel her warmth and have her in his arms again. He felt the pain of the Cruciatus Curse and immediately wondered why she was cursing him! She didn't have a wand so he looked around expecting to see Voldemort in the room. Realizing that it was just her and him he became extremely confused and angry at her again. Then he saw her crying and his heart leapt to his throat. Hearing her trying to explain that it wasn't her, she couldn't tell him why and then the part that confused him the most, her telling him that she didn't actually cheat on him. His heart stopped pounding in his chest, but his head started to ache like it did in school when he was cramming for one of Snape's potions exams.

The next time she tried to leave, he was ready. Determined to get everything he knew out of her, he stayed awake until he heard her coming down the stairs once again. Of course he got hit with the curse again, it always took him a couple of times to learn things. He was glad he said he thought about her a lot and it made him feel things he hadn't felt in years when she said, "I think about you all of the time."

When Ginny helped her escape behind his back he felt betrayed. He asked Ginny where she lived but it was like talking to a brick wall now with her. Even Harry had to ask Ginny why she was acting so different. Ginny knew something but she wasn't telling anyone.

He had to go back to work again soon but he wanted to uncover this mystery. He drifted off to an uneasy sleep. He started to dream of Hermione and how he wished what he saw of them was actually happening.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 13

(Hermione)

I awoke the next morning in a cold sweat. The nightmare of a cold-blooded murderer still fresh in my mind. I couldn't help but think that if she started tampering with her dreams, would the nightmares be able to come true as well? There were so many risks with this type of magic. Controlling dreams? Basically, in the muggle world, it was telepathy. An entire army could be on the same thought process without the opposition overhearing any type of communication. It was brilliant, secretive, and just may be the thing to save the Order and my friends without any casualties! Still, I was scared senseless. How was I ever going to find the courage to do something like this?

I met Professor Lupin at 6:00 like he suggested at the bakery. Conversation started casual, and about nothing in particular. I wanted to get down to business right away, so I finally said, "Look, Professor. I appreciate you trying to keep me calm and everything, but I'd like to get right down to this training thing before I completely change my mind and go back to my fear driven life again." Lupin raised his eyebrows and did just what I suggested, got to the point.

"Alright, Hermione. Let's get to it, then. You have to know that I am not 100% up-to-date on this type of magic. It has never been fully supported by the Ministry of Magic and as you know, it's very secretive." He paused as if he wanted me to say something and when nothing came out of my mouth, he continued. "So, there really is no better way then to just jump into it and hope it works."

"Waaaaait just one minute, Professor. I was reading in the book that people can go insane from this! My mind can literally leave my brain and never come back. Shouldn't I at least have some sort of control training or mock magic in order to get a feel as to what I am going to be dealing with?" But before I even ended my questions and concerns, from the sympathetic and sad smile I was getting from Lupin, I knew I was going in blind.

"I'm so sorry to tell you Hermione that there is no training or anything like that for what we are doing. You are very logical and strong-minded. People who are considered dreamers, creative, and overly-imaginative are the ones who get in trouble because the logical side of their brain cannot reign in the other part. You will not have any trouble with this, you have my word."

Well, it's not like I could do much if I did have trouble with it, I thought. "Professor Lupin, I want to do this because I do not want to see any of my friends hurt or killed, if this makes me insane, I promise I will find a way to haunt your dreams for the rest of your life."

"Keeping humor is very important as well." He added with a chuckle. "Oh, Hermione. Thank you so much for this, you will not realize it for a while, but this may be the decision that saves us all."

"What do we have to do first, Professor?"

"You get to take a nap."

"What? I'm just going to sleep?"

"Well, no. Not exactly. As you fall asleep and you go into a R.E.M. cycle, I cast a spell on you that in simple terms, has your dreams come alive..." He faded off. My dreams come alive? Voldemort every night? I swallowed hard, my face turning pale. Lupin must have noticed for he stopped the explanation immediately when he saw my face. I got up ran to the bathroom and up came the bagel and coffee I recently consumed. I started to shake and knew it was from the fear of seeing Voldemort more realistic in my dreams. How was I ever going to do this?


	9. Chapter 9

I looked in the mirror before I decided to go back and see Professor Lupin. _Can you do this?_ I asked myself. The idea of seeing Ron in my dreams and actually _being_ with him was so great that I wanted it now, let's go! The idea of seeing Voldemort? Not so much. I walked back out to Professor Lupin and decided that I needed much more clarification.

"Professor Lupin.."

"Please, Hermione, call me Remus. I'm no longer your Professor and we're going to be working together quite often."

"Alright, Remus I have some more questions. When you say that my dreams will come alive, how does that work and what does it exactly mean? Also, anything that happens in my dreams, will that happen in reality? What happens if I have a nightmare?"

"Let me try and answer those as best as I can. Remember, this magic has not yet been fully explored and I do not know the specific details. Your dreams will not 'come alive' and I apologize for my earlier wording. The host will not know that you will be entering his or her dreams. You cannot enter a mind that we do not specifically target. For example, if I specify you to enter Harry's dreams you will not be able to enter Ginny's or Ron's, understand?"

I nodded as he talked, it made sense but dreams were constantly changing as people's imaginations took over.

"When you enter a host's dream, you can manipulate your interaction with the host. If you touch someone, it will feel as though you touched them but you will not have touched them in reality. Emotionally, they will be affected but not physically. Also, you will be in a dreamless state. I will be putting you under with a sleeping potion and then casting a spell in order for you to join a host's dream."

"I am understanding you Prof… I mean Remus but dreams are constantly changing. They do not have a set time and what about the part of going insane?"

"Excellent questions! I can't tell you about the duration of the dream visits it depends on each person. Here's where it gets tricky. The person will be constantly manipulating their dream. The imagination takes over and the scenarios change rapidly. However, here's where you come in. Your creative side will try and adapt and change with the dreamer. You must not do this. To try and control someone else's imagination would completely destroy your mind and you would be lost. Your logical side must control your impulses and let the dreamer do what they do best: Dream."

I stared at him. "This sounds absolutely terrifying."

"Yes, it does but you will not be alone. I am going to help you with this. We will be doing this together."

I took a minute to try and process all of the information he was giving me. I had some serious reservations about it all but I considered my current situation. _What do you have to lose?_ _If you go insane would it any different than the life you're living now?_ "Alright, Remus. I'm in."

Remus Lupin smiled and said, "We're going to start with someone you are not so emotionally connected to for your first host invasion. Since you and I are the only two people who know about this, let's try someone who you think you will be able to interact with but not be affected by?"

I thought and thought and thought about all the different people that I knew from my life. I looked at him and shrugged.

"Anyone that you just met and would be familiar with their dreams?"

"No, I don't… Oh! What about one of the Weasley's wives?! I just met them and they would probably be dreaming about something Weasley."

Remus considered it and said, "Alright, this worries me because if they dream about something random then you might not find your way out of the dream but I'm not sure what other choice we have. Yes, it will work. Alright, Hermione I will come to your flat tonight around one o'clock in the morning."

"Why so late?"

"People are usually asleep at this hour, no? We could try them now but I bet we wouldn't get very far."

I blushed. Of course we wouldn't. "Alright Remus, I will see you tonight. Do I need to do anything to prepare?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Try to stay as relaxed as possible. Other than that, try and mentally prepare what you will be seeing and doing with the dreamer. Saying something, etcetera."

We said goodbye and I just sat in the bakery staring out the window for hours. I daydreamed about Ron and what possible things I could say to him and what possible things we could do in the dream. For the first time since seventh year, I found myself excited when I thought of Ron. The reassurance of not the dreams not being real was huge for me and gave me some confidence that I could actually pull this off.

I wandered around the city for the rest of the day. I tried to think of different scenarios that could happen within the dreams and how I could not control them, even though I would want to. Not getting people to think my way has always been tough but I was going to have to try and control any and all impulses.

Around 12:30 I was completely restless and exhausted. I had been up since 5:00 in the morning and it was way past my normal bedtime. I couldn't stop pacing around the room though. I finally heard the knock of Professor Lupin around 12:45. I opened the door and quickly ushered him in. "Hi, Professor. Come and have a seat. Where should I be? How are we going to do this?"

"Easy does it, Hermione. I know you're nervous and I am as well but we need to calm down as we discuss each step that will be happening."

_Calm down? Easy enough for him to say…_

He slowly sat down and took out what I assumed was the sleeping potion and his wand. He seemed to be taking his sweet time with everything he was doing. "Did you get a chance to play out some scenarios and how you are going to interact with the host?"

"You mean Charlie's wife? Yes, I figured we'll talk about shopping or some nonsense."

Remus Lupin stared at me. "Do you know anything about shopping"

"I, uh, I mean I've done it before but I don't go constantly." I started to stammer. _How was I supposed to have a conversation with someone about things I don't know anything about?_ "How about Charlie? I could talk about him!"

"That's a start and it will have to do. Ok, I think we're all set and ready to go. Remember, you won't know how long the dream will last so if you start to see things fading or blacking out you need to say the incantation to get yourself out of the dream. The dreams can change suddenly but they are distinctly different than fading and blacking out. Are you ready?"

I looked at everything in front of me and muttered, "No."

He took my hands in his and said, "Hermione Granger, I have every confidence in you. You can do this."

I nodded my consent and he poured some sleeping potion into a small goblet. He took his wand and asked, "Have your wand ready?" I showed it to him. "Tell me again the spell to bring you back?"

"Somnium Tergum."

"Good. Alright, drink this potion." I gulped the potion down and I barely heard Professor Lupin say, "Somnium Absentis!"

At first I felt as if I was dreaming. I saw images start flashing before my eyes and it felt like watching the television with someone flicking the channels as fast as they could. I could have sat there and just watched forever when I felt something sharp jab me in the arm. I remembered that I had a job to do. I held my wand in the air and said the name of Charlie's wife. Suddenly, the channels stopped flickering and one image started coming at me. It surrounded me and then I stood up into the dream. I looked around and saw Charlie and tried to say hi but quickly Charlie's wife came into the room. "Why, hello, Hermione! Good to see you!" Before I could talk I could see Charlie's wife had changed. She was a bit taller, more slender, and gorgeous! Charlie had short hair and was cooking and it was so odd! They were them but different. Suddenly we were in the dining room eating and I looked at my own appearance. I had straighter hair and was less pretty than I thought I was. "Hermione, it is wonderful to have you, I just _love_ to entertain."

I decided to try and talk. "Thank you so much for having me." They both smiled at me. I tried to reach out to touch one of them when we were plunged into water. Charlie and his wife were struggling to breathe and looked like they were in trouble. _Oh no!_ I tried to swim and save them but no matter how hard I swam, they were not getting any closer.

"Hermione! Help us!"

I looked up to see the image flicker and start to go blurry but I was determined to get to Charlie and his wife. I started to feel light headed which I attributed it to me swimming so hard. The water flickered again and I stopped swimming. The picture was fading fast and I screamed as loud as I could, "Somnium Tergum!"

I awoke gasping for breath. "Easy, Hermione! Easy does it!" I was punching and kicking anything that was touching me. "Hermione, it's me. It's Remus!"

I stopped. "Professor Lupin, Charlie and his wife are in trouble. They're drowning somewhere!"

"Listen to me! You were in a dream. Nothing happened, nothing has happened. Shh.." Remus tried to comfort me but I was scared out of my mind. Everything felt so incredibly real. I felt the water, I heard them scream to clearly in my mind.

"I don't understand. It felt so real!"

"Yes, it did. But it's not. Think, girl. Did the sequential images make any sense? Tell me!"

I thought back to the order of what happened. The images of the kitchen, the dining room jump, and the water came back. It was incredibly disorienting thinking back to each one and telling yourself that it did not happen. "Remus, I could talk to them. I tried to touch them but the image changed."

"That was Charlie's wife changing the dream. She either didn't want to be touched or subconsciously she was trying to create a scenario with you and them. What else did you notice?"

"I saw Charlie and his wife but they were slightly different. I was as well. Everything was just off."

"Ah, yes. That is the dreamer creating the images either out of memory or out of want. What was different about them?"

"Charlie had short hair and cooking. She was taller, thinner, and incredibly beautiful and I was this mousy-looking girl."

Remus started to chuckle which I was about to get offended by when he started to explain. "She was creating her ideal image in her dream. She clearly would like to be taller, thinner, and prettier. She wanted shorter hair for Charlie and him to cook! And it looks like she's slightly jealous of your looks."

I looked at him incredulously. "That can't be."

"Definitely seems that way. Now the interesting thing is going to be the reaction out of Charlie's wife. Somehow we are going to have to figure out if you made an impact at all."

"How are we going to be able to do that?"

"I'll get back in contact with Ginny and see if she can work her magic with Charlie and his wife. That girl can get information out of anyone!"

Remus left shortly afterwards and I decided to try and get some sleep. The realness of the dream was incredible and I couldn't wait to try it again.


End file.
